eish!

I always said I would write a book sometime and at one time fancied myself quitting my job to do just that. actually my earlier fantasy was that I would get a qualification (in something) get married, quit my job and work flexi hours as I write a book and raise my kids! Ah what a life! But it doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to though it doesn’t mean that it turns out bad.

Anyway I am so happy that my fingers have found their way back to words though. When I was in school I stayed out of trouble by burying my head in books, not academic ones mind. I would write all my thoughts down on scraps of paper and would always make sure I have a pen and paper on my person. When that got boring I would spend hours tucked in dusty, yellow-paged volumes of Elizabeth Browning or John Keats or Yeats in the furthest part of the library. No wonder people didn’t really like me, and no wonder I scared off the boys! But it kept me out of trouble and gossip and the usual boarding school drama.

I hit a break when I was in college. Somehow writing about love didn’t seem as exciting as actually snogging in real life. And all the ideals and lovely romantic thoughts flew out of the window as I realised that men in real life were actually not much to write about! (he he pun intended) and I spent my time following around low-lives who thought a great night out is having your girl freezing next to you at 2am as they drink their umpteenth bottle in an open air entertainment spot, then drive her back in semi-slumber state to the hostel and dump her there. All that took away my precious time from me and clouded my judgment about what I was really about.

But hey thank goodness for small mercies (in this case big ones) I got delivered from that phase. And I grew up! And I look back and I think eish what was all that ish? And I am glad now I am older, hopefully wiser and I have learnt the language of love from a real man. And I have rediscovered myself and I can still write yay! It feels good to just be alone with your thoughts and manipulate words just the way you want.