reflections

I sit down today in my dressing gown, occassionally peeping across at my newly born son and ponder. Am I today even half the person I set out to be? Granted some of the ideals I had in my thoughtful teens were mere flights of fancy but I did set some pretty solid foundations of who I hoped to be. Now 13 years later I wonder, true I know who I am today but if my 15year old self met me today would she recognise me? Would she approve of thejob that I seem to have settled myself into? Would she drool over the life partner I chose? Would she gaze and admire my maturen not so perfect body? Perhaps I set myself standards too high. Because relying on the hormone induced imagination of a teenager mighty not yield desired results. Instead today I critically look at myself through my mature 28year old eyes. I see a strong woman, a mother of two amazing boys, a wife to a wonderful man, a lawyer whose career is about to soar, whose body bears all the stretch marks and scars that tell the story of a life well lived.

New Blog

i decided to chronicle my baby journey in a new blog, check it out: www.yummymummyfromzim.blogspot.com

Halfway Mark!

i cant believe i am halfway through this pregnancy, it feels kinda surreal. 20 whole weeks of carrying a little somebody, and now the somebody is really making their presence felt, it feels like its party up in there most of the time. so state of mind: happy, content, excited. State of body: not so good, i always thought i was born to do this but eish its been more of a challenge than i anticipated. i wish my first one wasnt so smooth sailing ( no i dont really) but at least i would have been prepared for this one. still we soldier on!

little one is a bit of a globetrotter, was in Europe in December in the dead of winter, we are off again next week. hopefully the ice has thawed and it will be nicer!

P/s in case you hadnt noticed this one one lazy baby hence the absence from blogville. ((yawwwn))

Wake me up when the new year gets here! or is it here already? (((((yawn))))

Its been way too long since I came to blogville and I thought I would do a courtesy call, my page was feeling a bit neglected. It’s a new year, new adventures and new expectations. I am not sure exactly how I feel about 2011. Its almost as if I haven’t yet wrapped my head around the fact that we have entered a new year. It seems as if its just a page that we have turned in the calendar. And that scares the daylights out of me. I haven’t done the “obligatory” reflection on the previous year. I haven’t planned for the new year in any way. In fact for all I know I am still on holiday, that’s how blasé I am about the new year! Hmmm…
Not that there is nothing at all that is happening in my life, far from it. One of the most exciting ( read exhausting, scary yet wow) adventures of my life is happening. I am gonna be a mommy again! Ok I know my martenal instincts kicked in the moment I gave my first cry ( after all we ladies are already born with all our eggs intact and all isn’t it?), yet I cant help feeling a bit nervous about doing it twice over. My first baby was a surprise, and the pregnancy was smooth and niggle-free, even the birth was a surprise. (no wonder my son is so full of surprises). This time around I am not so sure, I spent the first three months feeling utterly horrible and wanting to sleep all the time. I know I am supposed to be all glowing and stuff, but stuff it this is hard work! I love my baby I really do and I think conception is one of the most amazing miracles, but I cant wait to love her from OUTSIDE my body!
So anyway I shall try and sit down and see if I can map a way forward for 2011, but truthfully speaking, from where I stand a week into the new year, looks like I am just gonna roll with it, for the most part. Maybe it’s the preggy hormones but darn it, its too much hard work trying to figure out what to do with the year.

Happy new year people!!!!!!!!

random

Addiction: (Noun)
The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming

I never fancied myself to have an addict’s psyche, but I guess each one of us has that one thing which we don’t realize that we are obsessively drawn to. I am not even sure if mine is an addiction, but I have discovered something about myself that quite amused me. I am crazy about magazines. Now ordinarily this is a statement which would not raise even a single strand of eyebrow. 90% of the female population likes magazines. But for me, there is something about the smell and feel of a brand new magazine that gives me something akin to euphoria
Euphoria: (noun)
an exaggerated or abnormal sense of physical and emotional well-being not based on reality or truth, disproportionate to its cause,

I am absolutely happy when I open a new magazine and I settle down to its glossy gloriousness, and devour its witty pieces and beautiful pictures. I have certain magazines that I buy every single month, whether or not I have the money. In fact I should just subscribe to them and get it over with. My only challenge is even though the popular adage says opposites attract, I got married to a man with just as much insane love for magazines, the guy kind of course. So now we are faced with the possibility of having to dedicate a whole room as a magazine library. People tell me to give them away, I look at them with daggers in my eyes. I am not selfish but I just like to hold on to my babies, every so often I go back and re-read articles from four years back.
That’s just me, if this deserves a straight-jacket, bring it on!

Assistance required Blogville, please!!!!

I cant believe i am doing this but i am near desperate (lol thats a bit drammatic) but anyway if anyone passes through this page and sees this, please help me. i am looking for a song called RICH- BY BRENT JONES AND THE TP MOBB. please help i have been looking for it for years.

serious food for thought

A discussion with a friend today got me thinking about a controversial issue. Now if you are African ( at least southern African I am not aware of the cultures in other parts of Africa) you will be aware of the custom of paying the bride price. This is when a man decides he wants to marry a woman and approaches her family with gifts and in modern days hefty amounts of money and cattle as bride price. It is only after paying these that you get your wife and take her home with you. Now some feminists have made so much noise about this practice saying it oppresses women, that men treat women like objects because they say that they “paid “ for them. it’s all good and true in some instances but I would like to offer a different argument to the subject.

I told my friend that if I had known what marriage was like I would have insisted that he charges much more than he did for my bride price and he laughed out loud. Called me crazy but I gave him my reasoning and the conversation went something like this: (p.s my friend is married as well)

Enchante: sha if i knew what marriage was like i would have insisted that my father charges much more!

friend:iwe uri benzi chairo ( you are crazy)

Enchante: say what you want but you guys have it easy

Friend: u figure we have it easy? i might just love this argument

Enchante: yes, and dont give me BS about the expectation to provide for the family, its ancient, women work as hard. in fact we have 3 full time jobs, at work, being a mother, wife to you and a fourth, housekeeping. and all are done simultaneously, everyday, for the rest of our lives

Friend:i think the problem that u are having is that u are suggesting u guys go it all alone and we basically play no part AT ALL

Enchante: i dont know about you sha, but the average african man will get home and either start flipping thru channels or read the paper, you are lucky if he plays with the kids, then expects a hot meal in front of him, doesnt know what happens to the dishes afterwards, goes into the bedroom expects tactics of pornographic film quality and wakes up the next morning asking where the hell his blue shirt is not knowing or caring who washed or ironed it and off to work he goes. am i lying?

Friend:k, b4 i reason out, how would u have that scene played out instead? PS, i laughed!!!!

Enchante: well i would expect that when i get home, he immediately takes the kids so i have time to cook ( or even better once in a while he offers to cook) then after we eat he helps clear out the dishes, i can do the dishes while he puts them away, trust me after that i would be more than will to perform wonders in the bedrum coz i wont be as tired also i would feel appreciated

Friend: k, well, honestly speaking i can tell u men are like kids, they are not born with a nature that is fatherly or husbandly, unlike u our partners u are born with the instinct and it only but grows, u have to educate us on your needs and expectations at times, i have been told once in a while, not saying am good coz at times i just do the dishes wrong but i get to do it coz i have been informed that it helps save energy and allows for some action after hours, lol

Enchante: well you see there are few men (like u perhaps) who after being told that a little help is appreciated, actually go ahead and help. most just nod but never do it. i will tell you that one time my hubby cooked and his son laughed his lungs out and said "daddy havabike" (daddy doesn’t cook) imagine my horror. what kind of a man am i raising, what kind of husband will he be?

so dear readers, and i will insist invite comments on this one, what are your views? should the bride price be scrapped and men and women treat each other with consideration or while men will behave badly anyway they might as well pay for our services?