nostalgia

Today I woke up young again. I woke up 16 and I am not sure how it happened, and though my body was evidently of a mature 27-year-old mother, my heart was 16. I woke up in high school today and I heard the familiar sounds and smelt the familiar smells. I felt the same emotions that I felt 11 years ago and I realized the same feelings are still there at in the centre of my 27-year-old heart. I heard Lauryn Hill’s X-factor and Blackstreet’s Don’t leave. They rang so clearly as if they were playing in the room I was in. I heard whispers in the wind and I could clearly understand the whispered words unspoken. Its probably just nostalgia that elusive, heart-breaking emotion. Yes I am sure that what it was, though it felt stronger than that.

I know we grow and we choose different life’s paths but I think the heart remains the same. It gets diverted, it gets heartbroken, disappointed but I believe it never changes the rhythm of its beating. Its still the same, it never changed. And sometimes I find comfort in remembering that fact, because it means I can hold on to the purity and the real deal.

I woke up thinking of a friend today, and I know I have dropped more friends than I have made in my entire life, but there are always some who fall unintentionally and I just cant seem to let go of those.

the one that (thankfully) got away!

i had resolved to stay away from blogville today but somehow i found myself navigating towards it. anyway the reason why i opened up this page is because i had a visitor, a refreshing one but it just made me really think. this was one brother, who impressed me so much the first time i met him that in 5 min flat i was half in love with him! he was suave, charming, articulate, charismatic, great looking, sharp dresser, fervent for the Word of God and to top it all up he was a medical student!now i know packages dont come this good, they just dont its impossible! and i was right!

over time i saw things happen, i saw a dream fizzle out, i saw a light die, i saw a great future just disappearing before my eyes. by the way this is his dream i am talking about ( i never really got to date him- God was protecting me!), 8 years later he still doesnt have his medical practising certificate. so today i sat there and looked at him, the looks are still there though a bit rough around the ages now from all that smoking, clubbing and boozing, but he is just a shell of his former self. i asked myself (and him) how one goes from all that to this? i felt sad actually and i still wonder what went wrong.

but there is hope, i think finally he gets it and he still has a chance to make something of his life. the passion and the drive is still there i can see it, i believe all will be well. but hey, i am happy i let this one get away!