i lost a friend today, my best friend to be exact. in fact i have posted about her before, my forever constant, my partner in crime. she and i have been friends for all of my adult life, i met her just as i was entering into adulthood. at the time when i was discovering life, discovering myself and i discovered a kindred spirit in her. we shared a great deal first kisses, first heartbreaks you know the works. its like my earth came shattering down on me, my maid of honour is gone.
but before you start really shedding tears for me she didnt die. and even though i woke up today thinking i would write a really nasty post about, i guess the loyalty i have felt over all these years is still in tact. today my friend said hurtful things to me, she said things that i dont even have the courage to say to my enemy. she called me all sorts of things and i am still trying to figure out what i did to deserve all that. i didnt cry, maybe i am still in shock. mayve this is a wound that has been festering bit by bit and i was blissfully unaware of it, or i was bandaging over it. but today the bandage was rudely ripped off, they always say its better without warning. but i wanted to be warned, i wanted to be told that it is going to bleed and be really really painful. until i started writing this post i hadnt shed a tear, but now i can hardly see the screen.
my best friend is gone....and i have never had a best friend before....what am i going to do?
Get to Know me!!! I am a lot of fun!!
2 years ago
5 comments:
Awww hon! I'm not sure I have a bandage solution for this but is the friendship so irreparable that you can't sit down with her and hash it out?
Bff and I have fought plenty of times, subliminally and actually :-)We have said some MAJOR hurtful things that we had to work out before we could sleep in the same house where knives and blunt objects lay near.
The best thing about a bff...a true one is that you can say or do some messed up things but you have never done a permanent job of it.
thanks Kookie.
i am not sure this can be mended, i mean we have said hurtful things to each othe in the past and we have always moved on from it. but this time i am not so sure, the things that have been said have made me feel like i am less of a person and i am not sure i know how to move on from that one.
Chin-up honey!
One of life's tougher lessons, is that longtime friends won't necessarily stand the test of time.
If there's a way to salvage it, do what you can. if there's no way, make your peace...and then move on.
*big hug*
thanks V
i think i will make my peace and move on. sounds simple when i say it, but i guess its gotta be done.
i learnt something the other day that le diablo really came to kill, steal and destroy and he attacks your trust, your love and your loyalties, even your faith in people just to make you feel alone and vulnerable...hold on to your friendship, fight for it! maybe not in words but on your knees (in prayer).Don't let him win...don't let him steal, kill and destroy your friendship. now you hurt, but be persistent in prayer, then soon you will forgive...and things may never be the same but nothing ever really is.....but you will be stronger for it i think.
I lost a bff once because i fought her instead of fighting for her (i guess this is what yours did)...then i was blessed with another and there is really nothing that can't be gotten over bruv..absolutely nothing when it comes to bffs (the sooner you realise and believe that, the better coz shez your girl despite her loud mouth, despite the pain, she just has some dumb insecurity and you have to do the do you want to talk about it dance?)
don't mistake what you have heard in a fight for what you already know about yourself! (when your arguing you pick anything and throw it just to win) you have a strong sense of self and you know it! you will never be less of a person and no words can change that!
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