mad ramblings from yesteryear

I found some stuff tucked away at the bottom of my drawer and I realized I was keeping a blog long before I joined blogville, albeit an erratic one. But here goes:

17/05/06
Perhaps I should start writing, no particular theme, no style. But just write until I am devoid of emotion. You ask why I am sure, but then such statements are not answered by a why. They just frustrate you. So better shut up and listen, read rather. If I let you. You think I am rude huh? But I am not, of course not. I write what I like, I am free. I have the freedom to express myself, in words, in tears, in shouts or whatever. I am human. I am alive. Are you? Coz many a times we tread upon the grounds of life, unbidden, yet not noticed. Existing yet not alive. I choose to live. I choose to be felt, to be heard, to be seen. It’s a choice really. This feels good, feels really good. My fingers are shaking with excitement, my page is panting with anticipation. Haven’t done this in a while! Its like an oasis in the Sahara! Aah! It smells sweet, liberating.

I could go on and on. And of course I will. I have started on a lot of journeys, though I have never really reached the destination. It always seems so near yet so far. Oh but the destination is not important, it’s the journey that has the thrill. Even though it’s a solitary journey. Not lonely mind you, just solitary. Through the mazes and the webs. Through the slides and the water. Its an adventure alright. But you have to be in it to enjoy it. And you cant be in it if you are not me. Tough huh? But hey laws of nature. Perhaps if you listen closely to the words from my mouth, even the unmuttered ones. Perhaps if you watch the movement of my body, with true concentration on the language, or if you stop and feel the quality of my touch. Maybe then, but only maybe.
Ok maybe some of it was just hogwash yet other bits make a whole of sense. Of course as you guessed that journey like the rest of them was never completed. Ah such is life. I shall keep digging in my archives!