oh pen, where art thou?

I made a startling discovery about myself, well if I were to be true and honest I suppose I always knew that about myself yet I was in denial. But not anymore. I discovered that I fancy myself a writer but I have never written anything worth reading. Yeah of course a bunch of immature poetry when I was still a teen and that’s it. In fact I should give my 16 year old self a pat on the back because at least she had the passion and the drive to write, the quality thereof is something else altogether. But who determines what quality writing is and what is trash? Yeah I know there are great literary critics and all that, but isn’t writing a form of self-expression, which sometimes happens to catch the attention of people. Why do people write? Is it to sell books and earn a living or is it a passion? Maybe I shall direct my questions to my newly-found writer friend, she should have some answers. Talking about my new friend, I am still slightly star-struck and I am sure I will be more so when I meet her in person which I hope to do soon. And ever since I started talking to her I have really been doing some soul-searching, I mean I used to have huge ambitions about the literary world, and I think I wasn’t half- bad judging by some of the scripts I have done. Well maybe I should take it up again.

Its almost as if the universe is working in cahoots with some dead literary giant who wants me to rise out of the ashes like a phoenix ( ha ha I just had to laugh at myself there!) I had quite a surprising revelation recently when someone I totally did not expect, revealed himself as the creative-type. I mean complete with film directing ambitions etc, I mean it was quite refreshing and kinda strange too. In a good sort of way, if there is anything like that. But I sure hope he realizes his ambition, it would make a huge difference to me, and give me hope that I too can finally have what I have always wanted. I was watching Chris Rock last night (that dude spews forth craziness and then some but he does have some real good points most of the time). He was talking about how what he does is a career and not a job. And that his job was at a Red Lobster place, then he went on about how those with careers should not go on and on about it since it would make the ones with jobs sad. That was a reality check right there, I mean I have a job and it’s far from being my career. I am sure I still have time, I hope. I know most of the time we make plans about how we are going to do things and think we have all the time in the world and forget that time is one commodity that we have no control over. I certainly pray very hard that I am given time in abundance, I need it