submitted but not a servant!

I have suddenly been bitten by this bloggerville bug and it won’t let me rest til I scratch it to the full. One of the things that I never wrote about in my posts is the institute of marriage and today I had a revelation which wouldn’t let go of me. Today I saw my husband in a different light, funny thing is he wasn’t even with me when I had it. I realized that I am his, his companion, his friend, his lover and I realized that his life depends on me in a way that I never realized before. I saw my husband as this constant, the voice that is always there even when we are thousands of miles apart, the voice that always gives me that valuable advice that I always run to him for. I saw my role as a helper just the way God intended it to be, and I saw my vocation to love, and be submissive to him.

Now the whole issue of submission has always been controversial, and I for one am a testimony in flesh. It is a biblical principle and the emancipated modern woman thinks it is an archaic form of oppressing women, but that’s only because they never understood it. I am learning new stuff everyday as I grow and one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt in this ministry of marriage is that being submissive is not the same as being made a servant. I will be honest, I am modern in every sense, I am a professional woman who strongly believes in girl power, I always said to myself it would have been very easy for me to become totally feministic. I am headstrong and for 20+ years of my life I was used to doing things my own way, even my mother had problems with me sometimes. A guy once dumped me because he couldn’t handle the fact that “I always wanted to be in the driver’s seat!” (his words not mine). So you can imagine how much trouble I got into when I finally decided to venture into the institute of marriage.

What I have learnt however is that, we are equal yes, but God intends for him to be Head of the house. But in the same vein the head cannot function without the heart, and I am the Heart of the home. Mind you if the heart stopped pumping blood to the head then all systems shut, so even though he is up there, I am the one who really holds it together. I pump the blood that keeps my home safe, my in-laws happy, our finances secure, my children healthy and our love alive. So I let him be in control, after all the head determines what the hand should do, but the hand still needs the blood from the heart to do it. This is the way I see it and this is the way I keep my home together. Even if we are to move away from the bible, lets face it our men have egos THIS BIG! And we all know what happens when those egos are messed up with. Its how they are made, and for the sake of everyone concerned, why tip a perfectly balanced scale.

So no matter how educated, enlightened, emancipated or how much you earn, if you wanna keep the devil away from your home, give that brother the respect he craves. You certainly won’t lose anything. And one of the things my mother taught is at the end of the day, just make sure he thinks that all the good ideas you come up with are his, and everyone is happy!