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I have just been having a conversation with a friend of mine, actually my best friend. She is really going places, she is successful, determined and raring to go. And in all frankness I am really so proud of her, she is an amazing, hardworking person she deserves it. On the other hand I will be frank again and say I couldn’t completely curb the slimy green monster that was threatening to come out. I mean lets face it, we both went to the same Law School and now almost 5 years later she has a Masters degree, and has set up an office and is on the go. And what do I have? Am stuck at a dead end job which is not giving me any valuable advancement of my career and I absolutely hate it. i am keeping the job now because it pays the bills and I do so need the bills to be paid at this particular juncture.

Instead of being ambitious and venturing into the big world all I can think of right now is having a second child. I have no interest in being a lawyer if anything I am more interested in writing than in lawyering. My only problem is I keep telling myself I am not good enough to write something worth reading and I have used this as an excuse. I suppose its time that I embraced the fact that we are all different, what drives us is different and definitely our destinies are different. In fact if anyone would ask me where I see myself in 5-10 years I would say that my law degree would most likely be buried in the back of beyond, I would be shuttling to all my kids’ school functions and I would be a writer, working from an office at the back of the 4 bed roomed house which I shall buy. This is it for me you know, that is what I want to do and I am done feeling bad and guilty about it. I think one of the things that has actually pulled me back is the fact that it’s not the right thing to do, I should be passionate about my career blah blah blah. Well that is I had a career to talk about. So here is my game plan and I will stick to it. I will most likely keep this job for another year or two but after that, I am done baby. In the mean time I better get those creative juices flowing! Maybe I will become a famous writer, maybe I wont, but I certainly plan to enjoy doing it!

Oh and by the way I am totally looking forward to having my hubby taking care of most of the bills while I figure out what to do, I am gonna be a kept woman, sue me!